Partner Birth Insights: Essential Role of Partners in Birth -Sooo-z Doula

When a baby is born, a mother is born. And so is a dad or parental companion. It is a pivotal time that can bend even the most stalwart of individuals. Oxytocin and emotions are bouncing off every surface. It is a fleeting time for lifelong impressions to settle in, to absorb the enormity of the task, and to consider the new role each must accept. For the sake of addressing all partners in a respectful way, dad, wife, or doula, I will refer to the non-birthing person as a partner. 

There is much excitement encompassing a new mother. She has physically and emotionally pushed herself past boundaries she has not experienced before. Surrendering one's body to a growing baby within the metamorphosis of pregnancy can be a shock. Often there is an abundance of enthusiasm surrounding the pregnant person, and rightly so. But what about the partner?

The partner, an essential component in this equation, can sometimes be perceived as second fiddle however, their role is quite relevant. Acting as the main support, the partner can bring an element of calm and stability as well as perspective to the relationship. The partner can also be an advocate and encourage the birthing person through challenging points. The partner has made sacrifices that are equally important and add value to the birth experience.

Even a SMBC (single mom by choice) has support through her family. I have witnessed an equally beautiful companionship through mothers and sisters who are at the side of their birthing daughter. An extended family provides a peripheral line of support complete with deep memories, generations of experience, and acquired expertise. This special dynamic is growing in popularity and becoming less stigmatized.

One of my favorite outcomes of becoming a birth doula has been witnessing the enormity of the moment when a couple brings a baby into the world. The nine months of nebulous connection to a swirling internal wonder suddenly emerges into the new earthside reality that is their new baby, a combined love. Even the most tenacious of partners is often brought to tears and overcome with blinding joy. The moment is enveloped in powerful emotions. Birth is a brilliant event of humanity and in an instant, everybody’s new role starts to take shape.